The Faith Of The Fallen
by Alec64
Summary: Faith struggles to find herself and shares insight on the lives of those who know her and what they've been through while trying to advert the end of the world. Set during Season 7
1. The Trick Is To Keep Breathing

**Faith Of The Fallen**

**Disclaimer:**I own nothing but the concepts of this story and the characters created.

**Spoliers:**Some from season 7 and previous seasons

That sweet,depressing buffy music plays softly as the camera slowly pulls circles the room.It was like any five year old girls room,it has The paintings and drawings she made in her kindergarten class were tacked to the wall above her bed, creating an illusion of happy childhood bliss.There were stuffed animals and dolls which sat around the room,untouched,unloved,much like her.

Faith's voice enters the scene in a voice over

Faith: _I dunno...it just isn't me_

Mayor:_Not you?Let me tell you something.Nobody knows what you are.Not even you,little miss-seen-it-all. the assesion isyour time to blossom and show the world what a powerful girl you are,I think of what you've done,what you will do...no father could be prouder_

We rest on a picture of Faith as a little girl,by herself on the swings,looking somber,lost.

Faith: _I guess you could say he was my father...not like my real one was ever there.But he was...he loved me and cared for me...like I never knew.I knew it was wrong...I knew what that he was wrong,that I was wrong...but I didn't want to except it.I couldn't except it...I needed him.He was the first to show me love,compassion.He knew me more than I knew myself...but he went away.Like everyone else.Like it or not...everyone leaves sometime...we can't stop it.We want to,but we can't_.

pan across another picture,one of her and her father,both smiling happily.

Faith: _my real dad wasn't all bad...he loved me and yeah,I loved him.But it just isn't enough sometimes_

light floods the room,bringing a flashback

Shadows cast from the streetlight and trees outside danced across her face lightly as she sat next to her window, staring down at the driveway below.

Her parents had never been exactly calm. There were many heated arguments between them which replaced the once many tender ones. Faith had always thought that was just the way grown-ups were until she'd mentioned it to her best friends Annie and Mikey one day. Mikey's and Annie's parents never fought. They never stormed through the house and out to the car, driving off into the dark night.

She knew he wouldn't come back. She knew it as surely as she knew the sun would rise in the morning and her mom would get beat on her again,blaming her . He'd left lots of times before but this time it was different.

Each time before when he'd leave, he'd pause at the car and look up at her bedroom window before he got in and drove away. This time he didn't stop; he didn't seek out her pale face in the broken moonlight. He just left.

He thought he could slip away unnoticed into the deep darkness. He thought he could just walk away from the family that depended on him; leave them behind without a second thought. He was right, he could and he did, but his departure wasn't unobserved.

A single tear slid down Faith's cheek as she watched the car silently pull away from the house. She waited to see if he would turn around and come back but he never did. Quietly, she slipped back into her bed and burrowed beneath the comforter, a thousand thoughts swirling through her head as she tried to understand what had happened.

She must have done something. Maybe she hadn't tried hard enough or been good enough. It had to be her own fault that he would leave. Her fault alone.

Faith: _We all hold the desire to want,to hold onto something forever and just make time stop so you can draw that perfect moment in your head before it begins to fade.Those moments that make us feel alive._

Fade in on the bronze.Pan across the floor of people slowly dancing with eachother.We rest on Angel and Buffy,dancing like the others,looking happy,safe in eachothers arms.The song is slow,sad,and they dance as if they're the only two in the room.

Buffy: (Softly) Promise me you'll never leave me.

He opens his eyes,a thoughtful expression coming over his face.He kisses her head and nods gently.

Angel: Nothing could take me away from you.

She smiles,rests her head on his chest and they continue dancing.

Faith: _But it can't be that way...time is always moving,changing things._

Fade to a street with fire engines and busy workers milling around as Angel and Buffy stare at eachother with lost hope.

Faith:_We're always waiting for the end,never knowing how or when it'll come.We hold onto the presious moments of life which actually seem to have meaning...always wanting more._

he turns,departing itno the mist that wahes over the street behind him until he's out of view.

cut to Oz's room,he's leaving

Willow : Oz... Oh, god. Oz...

Willow is left standing crying. Oz walks out and puts his bag in his van. He gets in and starts the van. He pauses then cuts the engine. Then he starts the van again and drives away.

Faith: _Saddness Fades...but Pain,it's always there.It never leaves.It comes back one way or another always more visous than the last.Soon,your so overcome with grief that you shut down...not wanting to feel._

Shot of Tara and Willow first meeting,sitting in a circle with the other girls,talking about things they know nothing about.Willow and Tara lock eyes for a moment,each smiling warmly.Images pass as they begin exploring their relationship.

Faith: _They sayFalling in love is beautiful...for some,I guess.We fall in love for only one reason...nothing in the world makes us feel so good._

Through this voice over it's easy to see that Faith has softend up,not sounding so cold.Images pass us of various complies enjoying the bliss of love.Anya and Xander,Willow and Tara,Riley and Buffy,Giles and Jenny,Giles and Olivia,Willow and Oz,Cordelia and Xander,Buffy and Angel.

Faith: _Sometimes it doesn't matter who loves us...just as long as they make us feel less alone_.

Shot fo Buffy and Spike,kissing at the Bronze

Flashback ofRiley leaving Buffy,Giles finding Jenny dead in his bed by the hands of Angelus,Oz leaving for the second time,tara having her brain sucked by Glory,Willow crying as she rocks back and forth with Tara in her arms,Spike crying as Buffy lies apon the rubble,having just sacrified herself.

Faith: _We'll take what we can get...just as long as it helps us feel more alive...or feel at all_.

Cut to a fist colliding with a mans Face.Pull back to reveal Faith,barefooted and fighting three harbingers,each cloaked and weilding knives.She's in a suite of a hotel,dressed in a a pair of low riding black jeans and a long sleeved black shoulderlesstop, her hair is free whipping aroond as she fights with stunning talent.

She had returned to Sunnydale about a week ago from L.A to help Buffy and the others with their fight against the first.She was here tonight,undercover,trying to get info out of a oracle, a friend of Willows from englans on how to defeat the First, unfortunately he was killed as she entered.

Shepushes the arm of a harbinger aside, spinning as she does and delivers a swinging backhand tohis face,sending himstumbling to the side and into the wall.Another swipes twice with his dagger.She ducks the first and leans to the side to avoid it.Grabing his arm,she twists it, imbeding the dagger in hischest andthen kicks him hard into the bar.

The first harbinger gets to his feet,throwing an outward cresent kick which she ducks,but gets hit by his fist as she comes back up.She counters with a spining heel kick which connects with his face,flipping him to the floor.

Faith: _Ever wake up with the disturbing realization that you weren't dreaming?that what you've experianced in the worst nightmare was really happening?That by waking up you haven't really erased anything?Just...finally realising whats going on._

she doublesnap kicks an oncoming assailant, once in the midsection then the face. Finishing him off she brings her leg around, catching the back of his neck and forcing him to the ground. Kicking him he spins upward into the air, colliding with two other bringers.

Faith:_You feel sorta...broken.numb.You bolt up in bed and don't break that position your in for hours.Thats cause you can't...you're toofrozen and terrified by the horror that is your life._

Another rushes her from the side, flailing crazily with his dagger, She disamrs him, twisting hiswrist and plunging his own dagger into his gut.Still holding onto him, she flips overhis still-standingbody, the knife tearing uphis abdomen and kicks the back. The bringers blodied body spinsalong the ground and crashes through a coffee table.she sizes up another,gives him a two hit punching combo, thengrabbing his robe hurls him into a mirror on the wall,shattering it.

A smaller one with a sword attempts the impossible that his brothers have all just died for. He tries to run her through and with a simple movement his word his in the wall. Taking him by the wrist she uses her free hand to punch him hard in the jaw and then brings her elobw back from the punch and connects it to the side of his head, throwing him head first into the television, glass from the monitor spilling across the once clean floor

Faith:House keeping aint gonna be happy

She looks to the doors as they're kicked in and more harbingers pour in.Her eyes widen,looking alarmed

Faith: _It's never really ends.People always crave power.To be a step above the rest.Those types of people resort to anything to get what they want.what is it about people like that?what makes them come out of nowhere and do something completely crazy without thinking about the consequences?_

She whips around,running across the room, hurling her body head first though the glass window.Thank god she's it's only a four story hotel.Too bad she's on the forth floor though.Sheglances franticlyaround her for soemthing to grab onto,something,anything.Glass rains around her and she continues to fall.

Faith:_I don't know...maybe it's the desire to be free,never knowing when everything gonna just stop.I suppose it's normal.After all...there's nothing wrong with being a little crazy._

She continues falling,feeling like it was taking forever.She remembers the last time she fell from a such a height.Images shoot into her mind with a serene,warm white light.

She stands there on the roof,looking hurt emotionally and physically.Her eyes hold a dim glint of innocence,her face looking pensive and lost.She holds a hand over her wound,knowing it wouldn't stop the blood,but she was in shock.This person...the one she felt closest to her had just stabbed her and reality hit her cruely and it was devistating.She knew then she wasn't invincible.That she wasn't dreaming.She was fragile and wide awake.Buffy pulled it out,looking stunned at what she had just done.A small,almost proud smile forms over Faith's lips,looking at Buffy with affection.

Faith: (Weakly,but smiling) You did it...

she summons the last of her strength,grunting as she brigns her fist up and into Buffys face,sending her back.

Faith:Ya killed me...

She steps onto the ledge,looking down.Turning back to Buffy she smiles again at the event which was her downfall.

Faith:Wont help your boy though...

Buffy looked on with Sad eyes,stunned still,knowing what was coming.

Faith:Shoulda been there,B.

Her eyes wander,her vision becoming blury.She feels the pain now and the sick,sinking feeling in her gut.It was a high.An odd,horifying high.

She began moving backwards

Faith: (softly) Quite a ride...

she pitches back off the roof,falling downward.It seemed like forever,thoughts and memories which she didn't want to remember raced through her hed at an unbelievable rate,but she saw each one,givng time to reflect apon them as she fell.She had grown up so fast,going from one to eighteen in 60 seconds.It broke her heart and at the split second before she hit the bed of the truck...she wanted to die more than anything.The scene changes back to the present.

Faith: _Falling seems to allow your mind the permission to let go,like your going too fast to realise that you actual have a 50/50 shot at dying.It's thrilling and exciting,but eventually...you have to land_.

and She does.Right into the pool on the top of the third story.It takes her a moment to regain control of herself as she sinks down a little.She swims upward,breaking the surface with a small gasp and begins swiming to the side and gets out quickly,running across the tiled roofing to the fire escape.


	2. Dancer In The Dark

It's day.The sun shines brightly through the dancing leaves as their brances sway gentle in the warm spring breeze.We slowly follow a pair of small shoes walking along the side walk and coming to a stop.We slowly move upward,coming over a pair of white jeans and a pretty white top.It's a girl with lovely brunette hair and she's standing at the picket white fence around the perimetre of the yard.We come off this young,innocent girl,closing in on the house.It's beautiful,big,bright white.Their are multiple flower beds around the lush,vibrant yard,bringing a warm feeling to the scene.

We rest on the house for a moment before pulling back and we reverse on the little girls face.It's faith,looking happy,filled with curriousity and light.She glances up at the home,smiling fondly.

She turns,sketching the pretty picture of the home in her head.The comforting,safe,happy feelings she got from that house were something she was unfamilular to.She had never had that.That house was not hers and the loving family who lived within it's walls did not belong to her either.She never had those htings;a mother and father who protected and loved her,a pet to call her own to love,security of a lifetime of love.She didn't grow up playing hop scotch or playing dress up with mommy,or even having tea parties in the back yard with her friends.Sure,she had games...but playing hide-and-go-seak is only fun as long as your not hiding from your drunken mother in the closet or under the bed,preying that when she finds you she'll cover you with kissess instead of bruises.

_When we're young,we're innocent...untainted by the corrupted world surrounding us.We don't know the pain of a broken heart,the heart ache of losing a loved one,the sorrow being alone.All that changes within minutes...no one can pinpoint when exactly we lose our hope for life,for love,or for ourselves.We just want to turn the hands of time...lie down in our beds in out parents arms and fall asleep with the assuring knowledge that they love us._

We look apon Faith's childlike face as it suddenly morphs to her older self,walking along Main street in Sunnydale as if walking it for the first time.

She had a long red coat on and her hair was down.As she made her way down main street a crowd of people bumped into her,nudging her to the side.

Her eye's followed them with confusion as they laughed while walking away.She turned and began walking again.She seemed a little out of it.Buffy's words flowed through her head,making her think hard and causing her mind to absently drift away.

A police cruiser turned the corner,it's headlights piercing the darkness of the street.Faith turned her head away so she wouldn't be noticed.Luckly another group of people walked by,shielding her from the officers sight.

as it drove away Faith stopped and exhaled deeply before continuing on her way.

the patio cafe where she had often walked by was filled with young people in their mid to late twenties.A group which sat at a table by the side walk was laughing and smiling.This made Faith frown because she wanted to have what they had,friendship.More than anything in existence she wanted to be loved,needed,if only for a second.

every night before she would cry herself to sleep and she would pray for it.She would pray for someone to come and take her to a better place.Her prayers were never answered no matter how hard she wished,it would never be.

A young man walks by Faith,holding a little girls hand,making her grow thoughful more,but she couldn't pull away,it seemed odd,as if it should be familiar .She wanted it so much that it tore her apart inside and shattered any hope she had left.

Little Girl: Dad,come on.We're gonna be late

No one seemed to take notice of Faith,she was just another lost face in the crowd.

Angel's,Buffy's and everyone else's voice echoed through her mind.They didn't let up,they just kept telling her how pathetic she was and that no one cared for her.

She knew this true so she allowed the cruelty of their words tear her down until there was nothing left.Just a hollow shell of a girl who felt only sorrow and anger.

This girl wandered the streets for hours,cold,sad,and alone.

Faith sat at the window box,staring blankly through the large window at the dark,dismull sky.She held a pillow to her chest as The rain fell,splating against the window as Lightning tore the sky open casting random flashes of light on her face.

The rain was one of Faith's favorite things mostly because she loved the way it felt when she got caught in a rainstorm.The way rain water smelled on a spring day.The way it made her feel sad as she thought the sky was crying,wheeping just for her.

Her mother had been drinking again and she just had to escape the madness,atleast until the yelling died down and she would be able to cry herself to sleep as she did everynight.

She hated it here but she didn't have anywhere else to go.Her father was a cop,go figure and her mother was a drugy/drunk/all around grade A bitch.The pefect match.Her Father would leave for long periods at a time without any word for weeks but he always came back ot his "Happy" home.He said he couldn't deal with Faith's mother's problems but he kept getting dragged back to them.

now Her mother,oh she was a piece of work.She would blow all of the money her father brought home on her addictions.When she couldn't pay with money she found other ways,lowering herself just to get a fix so she could last the night.

Faith was living a nightmare,the kind that you don't wake up from.The kind where the real and most horrifying nightmares seem like fluffy day-dreams.

This horror movie had no ending and it always seemed to come back with a sequal full of Violence and corse language.

She sat there for hours on end as tears formed in her eyes while she dreamed of a storybook ending.

_I've been told I have problems.It's nothing new.I've known for years.Inside of me theres this scared little eight year old,wanting to be strong but only ever succeeding in being weak.Deaper down theres this even younger child screaming for it all to stop.She doesn't know whats going on or how to stop it.she has no control.it's all been taken._

The sound of sirens mixed with the busy noise of the city woke Faith up.She was only eighteen and she was already on her own.Sitting up,she glanced around the dark,t iny apartment and gave a sigh.

she glanced at the alarm on her night table,it read 8:30 in bright red.giving a groan,she burried her head in her lap.She was late for work.Her boss wouldn't notice though,he was a pig and knew she was just another lost soul in a big city that he could take advantage of.

She worked at a diner in the bad part of town where they had the worst chilly cheese fries for 40 blocks but the best milkshakes in 5. She served the same truckers,loners and bastards who frequented the place nightly.She knew them all.She was intent on completely losing herself.She was techniquely already lost,not knowing herself or where she belonged in the world.She didn't have a place.the world had tunred it's back on her and frozen her out completely.

She'd just smile seductively,the same way she did when someone asked her how she was and she'd reply "five-by-five" with that playful look.Truth was,she was a mess,gone,alone,scared and ashamed of what her life had become.Instead of continuing to run from her fate of becoming just like her mother,she made a U-turn and collided with it head on.

she got up and went into the dark bathroom where she flicked the light switch.The light flickerd several times before finally stopping and becoming it's usual dim glow.

She had this slight addiction that she couldn't shake.She'd pop a few pills,chase them with a glass of water and put on a smile before shoving off to a different version of hell for the night.

she'd close the cabinet and be caught by the same pair of beautiful brown eyes each time.The same,unfamiliar eyes of a stranger.They were deep and filled with emptyness and pain.She would stay there for hours on end staring into those eyes,wondering who they belonged too.They were obviously hers,but she could never tell,because she was a stranger to herself.

She had come a long way from the little girl who ran and blessed the moment when her mother passed out.She was a cold and lonely girl who was going nowhere fast.She didn't care though,she was already gone,becoming this...supreme thing,somehting that told her she didn't need the world.

She liked living on the edge.The thrill you got from being so close to it you could fall if there was a sudden breeze or something.

While walking around at night,arms folded, wrapping her denim jacket around herself as tightly as possible.She'd smile after absent-mindedly noticing how the people before her seemed to part, like she was the proverbial knife through butter.

People would be totally preocupied, walking towards her, when suddenly they'd take a detour and step to the side. It was a nice feeling, a feeling of power, of being in control, however small and pointless it was.

Faith would start to deliberately sway her walk slightly, occasionally stepping one way or the other, just to throw people, just for the hell of it. She'd smile weakly to herself, as she continued moving this way and that, back and forth, making tiny ripples in the waves of people

_Remember no one cares.everyone just wants to hate you.everyone's just waiting for a reason to do just that.Hate is the lifeblood of the powerful...so I hate too.My parents for not caring and myself...because I'm finished at 20 and a total failure.I'm Just trying to and dull the pain which I feel everyday.To maybe have someone actually understand me for a change.To make them feel my pain...to make them care_

Buffy stands,pleading with Faith and looking grim

Buffy:Faith,you don't get it...you killed a man.

She smiles unpleasantly,becoming slightly amused by that.

Faith:No..._you_ don't get it...I don't care

_But you drag them down with you...and soon enough you begin searching for the fastest rides out...Suicide _

Angel is on the bluff,awaiting the sun to rise on Christmas day so his pain can be ended.

Angel: Am I a thing worth saving, huh? (shakes her) Am I a righteous man? (shakes her) The world wants me gone!

Buffy: (tearfully) What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away... I killed you and it didn't help.

She shoves him off of her and gets up.

Buffy: (crying) And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard... and that you can hurt me so much. (sobs, then harshly) I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. (whispers) I can't.

Angel gets up now, too.

Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.

Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together.

Angel struggles with himself, knowing she's right.

_Revenge_

The light begins to stream out as Glory's fingers enter Tara's head. Both Tara and Glory cry out.

Willow reaches the edge of the path but is blocked by the Chinese dragon people and has to stop.

Shot of Tara with Glory's fingers still in her head and the light streaming out as Tara makes a pained face. People continue walking past and blocking her from view. Shot of Willow straining to see around the people.

WILLOW: Tara!

The crowd clears momentarily and we see Tara sitting alone on the bench with her head lolling to one side.

WILLOW: No!!

Willow runs over and sits on the bench, grabs Tara by the shoulders. Tara doesn't react or look at her.

WILLOW: Shatter.

The mirrors in the room all shatter and the glass flies toward Glory, slicing her dress into shreds but not harming her.

GLORY: Is that it? Is that the best you can do? You think I care about all this, the apartment, the clothes?

She pulls off the shreds of her dress, revealing a black negligee underneath. She backhands Willow, who flies backward and topples over a sofa, landing on the floor.

GLORY: Now, sucking on your girlfriend's mind?

Willow lifts her head. Her eyes are still all black.

GLORY: That was something to treasure.

Giles:It's me!

He takes off his coat and hangs it up. He looks around again and sees a chilled bottle of champagne and two long-stemmed glasses on his desk. On top of the crystal ice bucket is a folded piece of paper leaning against the bottle. He sets down his keys and the rose and takes the note. He unfolds it and on it is one word: Upstairs. He smiles and looks up toward the loft. He takes off his glasses and sets them and the paper down. He runs his fingers through his hair, takes the bottle, looks at it, takes the two glasses and starts up the stairs. The opera music gets louder as he nears the loft. The camera follows his footsteps as he climbs the stairs. There is a rose on each step. When he reaches the top he is smiling. He sees Jenny on the bed, but she isn't moving, and his smile quickly fades. The opera reaches a crescendo as he drops the bottle and glasses, and they shatter on the floor. He continues to look at Jenny's body. Her dead eyes stare back at him.

Giles and Angelus exchange blows,Giles impressively kicking his ass until Angelus unfortunately get the upperhand.

Warren turns and begins running,firing off the gun in a flurry of shots.taras smile fades from her face as the bullet soars through her heart and she plumets to the floor.

Willow:Tara?!

Willow: Something, isn't it? (pensively) One tiny piece of metal destroys everything. (Warren groaning loudly) It ripped her insides out ... took her light away. From me. From the world.

Now she looks Warren in the eye again, re-focusing. He continues trembling, groaning in pain and fear.

Willow: Now the one person who should be here is gone ... and a waste like you gets to live.

Another shot of the bullet hole in Warren's chest.

Willow: Tiny piece of metal. Can you feel it now?

she waves her hands,flaying him alive

_Or just letting it all out when it gets to be too much_

random shots of people doing this,many in hte form of song from the episode "OMWF".We rest On Anya as she explains her confusion of Joyce's death.

Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open?

Willow: (horrified) Oh my god! Would you just ... stop talking? Just ... shut your mouth. Please.

Anya: What am I doing?

Willow: How can you act like that?

Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? (looks from Willow to Xander) Is that the helpful thing to do?

Xander: Guys...

Willow: The way you behave-

Anya: Nobody will tell me.

Willow: Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things!

Anya: (desperate) But I don't understand!

Willow and Xander look at her in surprise.

Anya: (crying) I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, (sniffling) there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. (still teary) And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.

She stops and puts her hand over her face, crying.

_We never understand why exactly these people so close and dear to us have been taken away without warning...it's cruel the way it happens...it's like...you're granted truely happy and pure bliss for so long and then suddenly out of nowhere...it's taken from you._

But it was easier this way.By isolating herself and pushing others away it meant never having to experiance heartbreak...she had lived through too much of that.She wondered why life had been the way it was or why she was delt those oh so horrible cards.She thought of it as Gods own little way of saying "screw you".Maybe she was just a test subject for soem higher,cosmic force.Sending her endless events of pain after pain...just to see what effect it would have so they wouldn't screw up with the ones they really had plans for.

Faith walked along,going about as she usual did,not caring about the things around her.She couldn't care anymore,as much as she wanted to.

Recent events had pushed her over the edge.Too far.Being lied to,being used,killing accidently and then have Buff ybhe automatically forgiven.This had triggerd the painful memories to come crashing back into a one horrifying relization:She was alone in her own world...and the one person hwo should be there with her,the one who was just like her,was somewhere else,beign hugged by mommy and surrounded by loving friends...she didn't get any of that.And why not?She had saved the world too,why didn't she deserve those things.The things a normal girl should have

It was dark where she was and filled with sorrow.Filled with lies and false hopes.It had a way of working.It would slowly build up your hope and trust until you leave open a blind spot and then they'd strike."They" being the one's who you think you can trust and love...the one's you want to trust and love.

but the habit of pushing people away becomes a way of life.Never letting the wall around you crumble and allow some sunshine to shead into your dark,empty world.She wanted that light.She wanted to flood in and wash over her and hold her like she was it's child.

She giggles inside at the apreciation for the irony of the one's who clame to want to help her.They helped...push her away that is.They had lied and kept her away,much like the children she grew up with...pushing and shoving,never letting her in just for a moment...so she could feel like she belonged somewhere.

This pushed her further,adding more emotional bricks to the wall which was begining to trap her without her knowing it.Soon the wall would be too high to climb or break down...it'd surround her and keep her prisioner until she let go of hope,until she let go of life.


	3. Gimme Gimme Never Gets

Faith:_I know what lonliness is _

Faith: (shouting) Come on, Angel! I thought you were bad!?

She tries to hit him with a right hook but he catches her arm and tosses her off. She quickly gets to her feet and grabs a tall lamp stand. Angel's still on his hands and knees when she brings it down on his head but he moves out of the way just in time. Faith lifts it back up into his face flipping him off the floor and he lands hard on his chest. She swings the lamp down hitting him in the side and lifts him off the floor sending him tumbling through the air over the sofa where he lands in the alcove under the low ceiling of the upstairs loft. Dropping the lamp, Faith leaps over the couch as he's getting up and slams him in the back and he crashes into a dresser with an audio system stacked on it. He falls to the floor. As he's trying to get back up, she grabs a large vase and smashes it down on his back. He flops on his stomach. Faith reaches down, grabs him by the back of his coat and lifts him straight up bouncing him hard off the ceiling and bringing him back down to the floor with great force.

She pulls him to his feet and pushes him against the side of the ladder, leading to the upper floor, and throws a punch at his face. He side steps the blow but she sends a maul kick up to catch him in the face and he stumbles back under the steps. Holding the side of the ladder, she kicks out with both legs and he barely avoids her boots as they slam into the wall behind him. From the other side of the ladder, Angel takes a swing at her. Faith dodges and slams his arm with an elbow, following through with a fist across his face. She grabs him and sends him flying over the couch again and he lands on his back close to the windows.

Faith: (shouting) You can't take me! No one can take me!

She charges after him as he's getting to his knees and launches a flying kick at him. Angel grabs a chair, by the wall, and swings it at her. It shatters when Faith hits it and she falls to the floor. Wesley watches as Angel stands over her still form and rolls her onto her back. She suddenly brings her leg up to kick him in the face and he goes sliding across the living room floor. He gets to his feet just in time to take Faith's jump kick in the back slamming him against a china cabinet. He moves out of the way as she brings an axe kick down at his head and her boot crashes through the glass shelves, but her leg gets hung up. Angel steps in punching her across the face then gets his arms under her raised leg and around her back, lifting her up and slams her face-down on the floor. Immediately, he grabs the back of her shirt and waistband and sends her sliding across the floor to the other side of the apartment.

Faith picks up a sharp piece of wood, from the broken chair, as she stands up and faces him.

Faith: (shouting) Come on!

She charges him and Angel catches her, wrestling with her stake, driving her back. Wesley watches helplessly as they both crash through the window and fall three stories down,She silently laughed within.Falling seemed to be her thing,maybe she didn't like to be cooped up during a fight,she needed space,air and to draw energy from her surroudnings. Faith hits the closed dumpster first quickly followed by Angel and they tumble into the deserted alley. Faith gets up just a little sooner than Angel and grabs the back his coat swinging him roughly to the ground.

FLASHCUT.

Wesley, hearing the fight below, is still working furiously to free himself.

Below.

Faith: I'm bad!

It starts to rain as Faith hits Angel with a hard uppercut to his chin. She hits him with another punch and a backhand sending him against the building. Furious, she grabs him and swings him around to face her.

Faith: Fight back!

She batters him with more punches. Then he manages to deflect one swing and block another, but she counters with a fist to his gut.

Above. Wesley has succeeded in freeing himself and begins to untie his feet.

Faith punches Angel across the face then hits him with a roundhouse kick and he stumbles to the middle of the alley. She comes after him and he ducks under her right hook and catches her left hook under his arm. His face is close to hers.

Angel: Nice try, Faith.

He tosses her into the air and Faith tumbles on the pavement when she lands. Angel stalks after her as she gets to her feet. They are both soaked and the rain continues to come down hard.

Angel: I know what you want.

Faith punches him hard in the face. Angel retaliates with a punch of his own and she drops to the wet pavement.

Angel: And I'm not going to do it!

She's on her feet again and he blocks her next two punches and when she tries to kick him he catches her leg and slams it back down.

Above. Wesley looks down from the broken window and sees Faith slamming a knee into Angel's midsection. He hurries to the kitchen and grabs a butcher knife. There is a resolved look on his face as he heads out of the apartment.

In the alley Faith tries to kick him again but Angel catches her leg and slams it back down.

Angel: I'm not going to make it easy for you.

Faith starts throwing wild punches at him which he easily avoids. Then she's suddenly flailing her arms at him.

Faith: (screaming) I'M EVIL! I'M BAD! I'M EVIL! (she grabs his coat and is thrashing) DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'M BAD! ANGEL, I'M BAD!!

Angel just stands there.

Faith: (screaming/sobbing) I'M BAD! YOU HEAR ME?! (beating at his chest) I'M BAD! I'M BAD! I'm bad! Please!

She's crying, tugging on his coat.

Faith: (sobbing) Angel, please, just do it!

Wesley comes running out of the building from behind them and stops at what he sees. Faith is pleading with Angel.

Faith: (sobbing) Angel . . . just do it! Please, just do it!

She's starting to lose steam.

Faith: (sobbing) Just kill me. Just kill me.

Angel grabs her arms and she struggles. He pulls her close and wraps his arms around her keeping her still. Faith is sobbing loudly. She collapses to her knees and Angel falls with her as she cries into his chest.

Angel: (soothingly) Shhh. It's okay. I'm right here. Shhh.

Behind them, Wesley lets the knife fall out of his hand and it clatters on the ground. The only sounds to be heard is the falling rain and Faith sobbing.

Faith: _Hell, Ive always known what it is. It's the constant reminded that there is no one who would give their life for you. That you are insignificant in comparison to the rest of the human race. It's what strikes at us when we get our hopes up and returns us to our state of self where we become frozen. It's what makes you wish that tomorrow wont come.  
_  
Fade to Faith's blank face.We slowly pull back off her,exposing her dark surroundings.She sits,alone in her apartment by the window.Moonlight pours in and over her and the bed,creating a fallen angel-like image as she stares blankly out into the cold darkness.Finding herself alone...once again

Faith: _Loneliness is the thing that Whispers to you when its dark._


	4. Tears Of A Slayer

Cut to the dark interior of the foyer within the summers home,everything is still in the silent darkness.The door knob is turned and the door opens slowly.She steps inside,still wet as music begins to fill the scene.Herclothes cling to her tight,soaking body and her hair hangs down in many wet strands.Striding in,Faith begins for the stairs.She was bunked up with Buffy,an arrangement which seemed odd to her do to the the feelings they had towards eachother,but she needed somewhere to sleep and wasn't up for listening to Xanders snoring. He was,in fact,doing so,being stired gently by her entering.

Willow,Anya,Molly and Vi are sitting there watching Tv.Molly and Rona both fast asleep,both with blankets spread out over them with the bright illumination of the television dancing over their faces.

Willow,wearing a pair of Pajama bottoms and a grey tank top looks up to See a bit of light come from the figure ofFaithas she passes by and begins to climb the stairs.Willow removes the blanketfrom over her and slowly walks towards the foyer which is still filled with darkness.

Willow:Faith?

Anya,in the middle of being amused by a cartoon,giggles,eating away at a bowl of popcorn.She wears a pink tank top with red floral designs on the front and a pair of bright blue pajama pants,her hair pinned up and away from her face.

**Foyer**

Faith turns,the moonlight that spills into the room from outside casts a silvery glow over half of her as she does.It takes her a moment to reply and when she does it's in a small voice,almost a whisper.

Faith:Yeah?

Willow has made her way in now and is at the bottom of the stairs,her hand on the railing as she glances up at Faith with a somewhat worried look.

Willow:How...did it go with the Oracle?

Faith shakes her head and brushes a wet strand of hair from her face.

Faith:Not...not good.I was too late...

there's a long moment of silence as Willow lets the little bit of news sink in.The Oracle was one of the seers from the coven in England named Matthias,one who Willow had grown close to while she recoverd over the summer.Her face expresses sorrow and slight confusion.

Willow: Oh...

Faith remains where she is,leaning against the wall ever so slightly and her hand resting on the railing.More slience continues before Faith finally breaks it,not knowing what else to say.

Faith:Yeah...sorry

Willow:It's not your...

but Faith has already turned,making her way up the stairs to and down the carpeted hallway.Her bare feet were dirty and felt numb from running all the way.Willow remained where she was for a moment,growing more confused by Faith's behavior.She let it go,walking slowly back towards the living room.

Willow:Fault...

**Upstairs-Buffy's Room**

She opens the door,cheering weakly inside that Buffy was out,training some of the SITs or somehting.She was just happy her night was over and was semi releaved Willow didn't take the news so hard.She just doesn't know how to deal with stuff like that.She'd usually just say the wrong thing,never being one to hug and cry when thigns like this occured,thanks to mommy and daddy she didn't quite know how to deal with feels or open up for that matter let along deal with others pain.It was better just not to get involved.

She moves through the room into the bathroom,closing the door gently behind her and allowing a deep sigh to escape her mouth.She just wants to collapse into something soft and warm for another eight months. A nother coma maybe.Stepping across the cool tiled floor after turning on the light she leans over the tub and turns on the faucet and runs her hands under the warm water.She put the stopper in the drain and began running herself a bath.

She straitens up,going over to the mirror cabinet and opens it,taking out a tube of tooth paste.Closing the cabinet,she looks down and then up again as she catches the reflections of someone long lost ot her.

Her face grows terrifed,seeing the reflection of a woman in her early thirtees.She looks tired and pale and resembles Faith in a way.Her words are slurred as she points to Faith half drunkenly in the mirror.

Faith's Mother:**You...stupid little...tramp!**

Faith spins around,discovering the only thing in the room with is nothing,just emptyness.Perhaps it was just her midn playing ticks on he or maybe she was just over exausted.She shakes her head,blinking hards to make sure she isn't there.Just emptiness.She lets out a sigh of relief, and unbuckles her belt, letting her jeans fall to the ground and then pulls her shirt up over her head and dropping it with the pants.

Minutes Later...

She rests in the tub,briming with bubbles and lets out a content sigh.Taking a bath in a place you've never washed before is odd...but for some reason it is't for her.probably becuase she's bathed here before...only in soemone elses skin.So I suppose she hadn't really clensed herself that night...just washed herself in anothers skin.

"Medication" by Garbage plays as she lies in the tub,comtemplating her life.

_I don't need an education,  
I learnt all I need from you_

But with the dirt never really does wash away,it's always there somewhere.

_They've got me on some medication,  
My point of balance was askew._

You can wash a hundred times and it'd always remain,becuase you would allow it too.And that's just what Faith did.She let the dirt and the grime of all her evil deeds stay with her...not allowing them to rinse away with the soapy water down the drain.

_It keeps my temperature from rising,  
My blood is pumping trough my veins _

Somebody get me out of here,  
I'm tearing at myself.  
Nobody gives a damn about me or anybody else

She had gotten blood on her hands countless tiems and each time she had to was it she became more frantic and desperate to make the sight of it go away.

Bright white light floods the screen in a flashback,bringing us sight of Faith as she tries relentlessly to scrub away the blood of the deputy mayor from her top.We retun now to Faith,remaining still in the tub.

In the blissful silence of anothers bathroom...she felt at peace,for atleast a moment.Her cares washed away with every bit of water which surrounded her.But they would return once she allowed them too and she would.

_I wear myself out in the morning,  
You're asleep when I get home.  
Please don't call me self defending,  
You know it cuts me to the bone._

More time passes as we cut to another sceen with Faith in front of the mirror again,her hair slicked back,her body wraped in a little red towel,her expression blank.

_And it's really not surprising,  
I hold a force I can't contain._

she stares into the eyes of her reflection,lost in the depth of the endless,chocolate brown pools of misery.They shouldn't have belonged ot hers...she desired the glint of light which sparkled when her father would tell her he loved her,or the moments when the Mayor would make her feel liek his own.She didn't have that shine anymore,in fact,there was no bit of light which brought life to her eyes.Instead...they just made her look lost and alone.

_Somebody get me out of here,  
I'm tearing at myself.  
Nobody gives a damn about me or anybody else._

She had to force herself away from her reflection and she exited the room into Buffys.She was tired...but now,she wasn't able to bring herself to sleep.Her matress was already layed out for her and in Buffy's bed,the blond slayer rested soundly,securely.

_And still you call me co-dependent,  
Somehow you lay the blame on me.  
And still you call me co-dependent,  
Somehow you lay the blame on me._

Her look of emptiness remained as she watched her for a moment and then began to changed into a pair of pink pajama bottoms and a black tank top with spagettie straps.The song fades and Faith lies down,staring blankly out the window into the darkness.

**Buffy's Room**

All sound within the room is still,soft light spilling in through the window and casting itself across Faith's body as she lie half under her blanket.She has a content expression covering her face.

Pan up to reveal Buffy's empty and made.We move over to see her alarm clock which reads:1:21 in bright red.The room is bathed in a warm,comforting light and all is silent through out the house.

**CRASH!**

we cut to a wall somewhere in the summers home as a vase smashes against it,shattering to pieces.

We reverse to see Andrew and Dawn standing together,looking in silnce at the broken vase.Dawn looks perfecly unfazed while Andrew seems terrified,figiting in fear.

Andrew:I didn't know it was going to shatter like that

Dawn gives him an annoyed look,rolling her eyes slightly.

Dawn:it's glass...that's a wall.Do the math,stupid.

Andrew nudges her slightly

Andrew:well maybe if you didn't hit me the glass thing wouldn't be broken.

Dawn slaps him hard across the face

Dawn:well it'll teach you not to use by hair brush for your...

she looks at his hair,it's spikey and gives her the nagging desire to rip it out of his head.

Dawn:un-conditioned hair

he gasps,stepping back a little,unable to believe she just insulted his most favoured possesion aside from his comic book collection.

Andrew:Take that back!

she smiles wickeldy,finding a weakness.She takes a step forward,rolling with it.She looks at his hair thoughtfully

Dawn:Funny...it seems to be lacking that certain shine it once had

he gasps again,looking at her in horror

Andrew:Thats because Buffy wont let me use the conditioner...she says "it's a gift that's not allowed to be used by annoying imcompotent big bad rejects"...so it's not my fault!ok!Your just all miss prissy because your not a potential anymore

Dawn scoffs,continuing unfazed by that,seeing how she got over it months ago.

Dawn:It's good she's so honest...and I'm happy I'm not a potential,means I dont have to fight losers like--

she stops,discrated by something she seems in Andrews hair.

Dawn:Are your roots growing back in?

Andrew grips his head and runs out of the room yelling.Dawn smiles,picking up a book and sitting on the couch where more books sit.

**Kitchen**

Faith stands there,glancing thoughfully out the window as she holds a cup of coffee in both hands which are drawn towards her stomach.She tunes out the voices of the others their; Giles,Willow,Buffy,Xander,Anya and two other new potentail slayers along with Rona and Kenedy.

The first girl is somewhat short with long fire red hair,obviously dyed.She wears a black hoody and a pair of wide legged black jeans.The other has brunette hair pulled back into ponytail.She wears an orange,long sleeved top with red glittery designes on the front and a pair of baggy white hospital pants.

Buffy looks at the girls,givign a little sigh

Willow:Giles where are they gonna stay?

Anya:There's hardly any substantial room left ...but there are numours closets

she turns to look at Buffy,curriousity marking her expression

Anya:Many closests right?

Buffy nods,unaware of what to do right now.She looks at the girls again with a reasuring smile

Buffy: don't worry,we have room...we just don't know where yet

Kenedy smiles,looking at willow breifly then at the rest of them,considering wheather to give up her's and willows privacy or let it pass.She weighs the opptions,the one she likes more winning by many reasons which make her smirk to herself.

Rona:Sheri and Sam are taking the floor in the living room

Xander:What about Dawns room?

Giles:Vi and Kelly are bunking with her correct?

Buffy sighs

Buffy:Um...broom closet under the stairs?

Willow:Andrew

She sighs even deeper

Buffy:Uh...I dunno...there's some room in my room with me and Faith.

she turns,lookign at the back of Faith

Buffy:That okay,Faith?

She doesn't respond,too lost in her own little world.

Buffy:Faith?

Buffy's voice begins to trail as the camera closes up on the bakc of Faith and then cuting to her face,looking blankly out the window.She squints as Bright white floods the shot

Faith:_Hi...my names Faith and...I'm a victum _

the light adjusts to normal,bringign us to a room with chairs arranged neatly in a cricle.Faith sits in one,the others are all completely empty.She's pale and tired looking,wearing a pair of jeans and a pink button down top with her hair pulled back neatly from her face.After a moment,other people fade into the shot and into the seats.

The room was silent.There was no "Hi Faith" which the people in the room were suppose to join in Sync to create that ,warm feeling.

she glances around the room,nothing but cold,lost faces.They were just like her,here for their own deals,not giving a crap about hers and she felt the same about theirs.It was a circle,these conciling groups.They smile supportively as you spill your guts and ball your eyes out at the hell that is your life when in reality they just sit,watching and waiting for you to finish so they can rid themselves of their emotional baggage.

There is one though,a pretty woman wiht glasses and clip board and an expensive suit,smiling that kinda smile that just tells you she's "here to help".That's bull.Faith knew,she knew all too well,that she was all about the "helping the helpless get back on their feet" kinda like Angel...only less real.Yeah,she knew this chick who just wanted to help,to reasure those who are scared and confused that everything'll be all right.The funny hting being is that if she even lived a second in those peoples worlds then that fake smile would fade from her face and she'd be as lost as the rest of them.

This woman was suppose to say everything would be all right,go home every night with the satisfaction of what she did that day had saved yet another lost soul with the garbage she had fed them.The lies which made everyting better.The way they opporate is they get inside your head,scanning through whatever they can to help rid you of whatever it is that's keeping yyou awake at night or keeping you from wanting to stop live or keeping you from _living_

The things they tell you you can just tell they have no idea what the hell they're talking about while at the same time the thigns they say hold a truth to them.These things seem to explain exactly what your problem is and to you...for some strange reason...they make sense.

so thats it.Your cured and people like miss priss go home to their fancy mansions in their hot rides with their big fat pay check with a feeling of accomplishment.But they haven't acheived anything,haven't broken any of the walls in their patients minds,because they've never gone through any of that.they live in the real world

Faith: _Nobody really knows me. I hide myself pretty well, years of practice. If I don't let anyone in, they can't hurt me, screw me or break my heart. I don't really need anyone to break my heart, I do a pretty good job of that myself. I am so lonely, like a black pit that swallows everything and everybody that tries to get close or tries to love me.  
_  
the woman writes soemthign down on her clip board and gives Faith a half hearted smile before we fade away.

Faith:_was moved from the state pen to the state loony bin for about six months. Unresponsive, they said, withdrawn, said others but they could never understand what horror's I've faced or what horror's I've caused. Now, I play the crazy part, quiet, withdrawn, loner, not giving anyone a glimpse of me for fear of letting them find out that I'm real, the evil is real, it really does exist and I was best friends with it._

She finds herself sitting in one of the therapy rooms, staring at blank paper placed in front of her. Today's homework assignment is, tell me about you, what could she say, she never did know how to express herself.Theres a box of crayons and she finds herself laughing at their latest method of breaking through to her.A metod so advanced and brilliant which makes one think perhaps these people were once day care teachers.

She grabs a red crayon,after all,she was always a red kinda gal.She begins drawing,her mind wandering as her hand moves the crayon.

hours pass and she finally finishes,looking pensively at what her mind had caused her to draw without her knowlege.She sits back,staring at the picture of her deisres.The camera moves over her shoulder,resting on the picture of a little girl between a mommy and a daddy with large smiles.There's a small puppy in the picture and a big house.The picture cretes a warm,happy sense which causes Faith to grimace at the childhood she never had...

Fade in on Vi's face.She's squinting and wobbling a little.Whatever she's doing it's hard and she's clearly to scared to keep her eyes open.

Spike: Okay...now to avoid fallin flat on your face liek the last eleven times why don't you try opening your eyes.

We pull out to reveal Vi attempting a handstand ontop of a pedestal,her legs dangling crazyily in the air.She's dressed as any slayer would be while training:a tank top and loose pants,because who says you can't look good while sweating your ass off?

Spike is there also,pacing around her,just waiting for her to fall.Kelly,a petite girl with dark hair and a pink top with jeans is watching intently.Another girl,Samantha,a red head wearing a black,long sleeved top and a pair of cargo pants,also watches.

Vi: Can't...If I open them...I'll see the ground...and If I see the ground...I'll fall into it and...probably even break something.

Samantha:I'll make sure you break something if you don't the hell up and open your eyes!

Spike laughs shortly at that,stopping abruptly when he notices how evil it was.

Spike: C'mon pet...I'll catch ya if you fall.

Kelly:Like the past 7 times you've failed to do that?

she speaks with a slight accent much like Kendra's.

Spike sighs,getting out of his get-ready-to-catch-Vi-because-everyone-knows-she's-gonna-fall-and-probably-break-something stance.He looks at Rachel with an annoyed expression.

Spike:Are you quite finished?

Kelly considers this,shaking her head yes

Spike:good

Vi:I'm gonna do it...I'm opening my eyes...here they come...

she opens her eyes and looks at the floor

Vi:Ahh!

she topples over and falls hard on the Mat.Spike's eyes widen,looking down at Vi not knowing what to do.

Spike: oh...um...sorry

He sighs,turning ot the two remaining girls with determination

Spike: okay...who's next?

Both girls exchange glances and shake their heads lightly,backing away some.Buffy watches from the stairs wearing a strapless red top with her hair pulled back into a ponytail.She also wears a pair of loose black jeans.Smiling soflty she turns from the door,and going into the kitchen more where Willow sits at the island with a bowel of soup.

Willow:How goes the training?

Buffy:slowly....very slowly

She frowns,going ot the fridge and pulling out a jug of orange juice.

Buffy:I mean...most of them got it down...but--they'll get it

Willow smiles hopefully,always beign Buffy's back up hope when she needed reasurance.

Willow: Ofcourse they will...they just need time...like you did

Buffy comes over to the island with a glass,setting it on the counter.

Buffy:Yeah...but we might not have enough of it.

Willow frowns,nodding reasuringly

Willow:we do...Buffy,we do.The first hasn't even made an attempt to attack us lately...

she grows silent for a long moment and looks up at Willow with a weak smile.

Buffy:That's what I'm afraid of...

cut to First's lair,Candles burn brightly,casting a dim light apon it's caverns.A hand caresses a blood stain on the wall where Spike was kept.The camera pulls back to reveal the Mayor in an expensive lookign suit.He shakes his head in dissaproval at the stain.

The Mayor:You know...blood was always one of the hardest stains to get out.

he turns to the camera,looking at something unseen and removes a cloth from his pcoket and turns,begining to wipe at the stain

The Mayor: oh,my mother had a heck of time trying to clean our clothing after we'd be playing all day...

he turns back to us again

The Mayor:And ya know how kids can be...

he returns to cleaning the stain

The Mayor:Always getting dirty and getting cuts...

he pockets the cloth,turning

The Mayor:you know...I find it ironic...blood's like chocolate...sweet...savouring...and yes,a hell of time to clean let me tell you...

he chuckles lightly at the thought and pauses

The Mayor: do you like chocolate?

we hear or see nothing,the Mayor continues

The Mayor:never did like the stuff myself...bad for the heart

he pauses once more,considering that

The Mayor: Ofcourse...what isn't these days?

he chuckles heartedly and we reverse to see who or what he's talking to;a large demon with deep red rock like skin much like the beasts and long spikes coming from it's skull with two devil like horns.It's eyes are completely black and it's fanged mouth drips with blood and some lands on the dirt floor of the cavern

The suspense in the music is rising and suddenly we hear the Mayor say:

Mayor: oh,now, I just cleaned up after you!


End file.
